Below poem was written and read by Peter Gunning at our Annual Xmas Dinner and received a well deserved standing ovation.



In Search of a the Meaning of Running in the Overall Context of the Never-ending Debate of What is the Meaning of life.


Or

Bullshit Running Poem

By peter gunning 







Midleton AC,

I see …do you see?.... That AC

Is athletic club? ….. You see there’s the rub

Those words club ….and… athletic

Together … quite eclectic

A combination hectic ….and hard to describe …..Says this scribe

Who will try to explain what it is …..We pertain……To achieve and to do

So that non-runners too ……Will get an idea …Indeed a sense of what

It is we’ve got ……and what it is we do….When we say to you: “I’m off … club training!”

“But darling tis raining……there’s sleet and there’s snow……hailstones and gusts blow

For God sake …what will it take …… A Tornado? ….A richter-scale 9 earthquake?

No love, for nothing we forsake…..Our desire to run. …. Deadly elements they won’t stop

We’ll run till we flop ……Of stern stuff we are made………We are an all- weather-proof brigade

No rain on our parade……Because…. you see ……That we …..Are Midleton ……AC

***************

Midleton Athletic Club…….A motley crew of…..Runners and Joggers……Plodders and Sloggers

Sprinting and prancing……Panting….. I won’t start romancing……..This effort it’s taking

As the guts ….they are breaking……And lungs no mistaking ……Are busting and yet

--Despite oxygen debt

----And infinite stitch

---(That pain’s such a bitch)

We plod and we waddle …….We sprint and we chase …Run run fat boy/Fat bitch run run run

Oh..Isn’t…, this… such… great… fun?.......You gotta be joking……..I think I am choking….For air… I despair

Doesn’t anybody body care?.....Ah just hang on in there……The end it is nearing White line so endearing

There ……we made it at last…Exhaustion now cast …To recent times past

Same time tomorrow night?....Yeah … ok … alright

************

Then we just might…Use the Monday night …hour…To develop track power

Work on the speed……Where we discover the need…….To work with a trainer

Who’ll cleverly …and guilt-freely….. throw in a disclaimer……..A legal no-brainer

I’ve no badge nor official degree……In sports science….athletics or even PE

But just run there and follow …….My directions?... you’ll swallow…

Put up with the pain……..Cos that’s how we train…..This motley crew we

In Midleton AC



Among the coaching staff there’s Ed …Who someone once said

Is officially decreed a greyhound on speed

“I’ll take the middle group for pyramid running!”

Says Greyhound Ed …disguising his cunning

“middle” my ass, those runners are class With their five-forty miling ….And they all finish smiling

…Meanwhile on the track the elite share the crack

With Dalton they’re sprinting with little or no hinting …Of a need to slow down or relax just a tad

They’re fast and they’re furious… a mean lean machine ….And (in good way) they’re bad

While Our Noel is in the in-field directing each troop ….To” GO! GO!GO!GO!… don’t let that head droop!”

They sprint and they hustle ….Exerting sinew and muscle… with him they won’t tussle

Or argue their corner.. . if you do I must warn warn ya.. (here’s a word to the wise out there in the in-field)

Our Noel was a boxer… . and …like yours truly… A proud Norrie… but he’s from Mayfield



The slow group are there too with Donie, Vince, and with Dan

Spluttering… waddling,…twaddling …but here’s the thing… while puffing ,,,,they’re bluffing

All concealing … Donie’s great plan ….That this slow thing’s a myth

a show to embrace….Cos as laps multiply …. they show style …. they show grace… amazingly they race





Hormones and endoprhines…..fully flowing in both women and men

Their thoughts turn to marathons… Cork to Cobh…ten ks

And of course …. The Ballycotton Ten



…………………………………

I could go on and tell you of places more exotic …Like Rotterdam, Berlin … Or volcano-running and bare-chest night clubbing in sleaze-filled Lanzerotic

You wanna hear more?...... Sorry omerta time…what goes on stays on tour

(even that story about Mr PB O’Meara and that octogenarian whore)

But this will be the last stanza……I hope you’ll understand …a

Bit more clearly of just how dearly ….We love to run because… yes my friends…. it IS fun

although

It’s not all about endorphin rushing

Adrenaline flushing on Dan McCarthy’s gun

We are an eclectic mix of beauty, hunk, freak and beast

Go on…look around and feast … Your eyes … go on… categorise

Yes ….we present as an assorted mix…blokes and chicks…

A visual treat……. Is each Midleton AC athlete

But we’re a united bunch

Here’s a fact ….Not a hunch…..

In our wonderful club we share

Friendship… camaraderie…thoughtfulness… we care

Write it in stone … embed it in hearts

We are…. Midleton AC ……

We are the sum of many parts.